15 November 2008

It’s around 7 o’clock in the evening and I’m pacing around a gloomy garage forecourt somewhere on the A1, watching as the Guv is trying to negotiate a deal on his fuel/oil/coffee combo with the unimpressed attendant.

It’s not the chill in the air, or indeed the fact that I’ve only got 20 cigarettes on me and I haven’t seen the attendant pass any over to the Guv, that’s making me edgy.

Tonight we’re going up to Leeds to attend the 8th Annual NIGHT of the DEAD - part of the 22nd Leeds International Film Festival. The Guv’s put together a new trailer and we’ve trimmed down the Behind the Screams doc so that we can get it into the festival as a short feature.

The first film festival that I attended was the aptly titled Shock Around The Clock 2 at the Scala Cinema in London Kings Cross in 1988. What an amazing day/night! We laughed and cheered our way through European premieres of Bad Taste, The Hidden, a 9 minute preview of Hardware, The Church (they were going to show Dario Argento’s Opera but they only had it in Italian) and winced a little when they screened Necromantic. I think it was 10 films straight through - around 23 hours in total.

On a sad note, the Scala closed a couple of years later. Real shame, it was great venue for independent and international films, stuff you just couldn’t see on the big screen anywhere, let alone at your local goggle-plex.

For those of you that love horror films and have never been to a full on horror festival, I highly recommend searching out Night of the Dead or something similar like Frightfest at the Prince of Wales. There’s no better way to watch horror flicks than among a 400 strong audience of gore hounds!

11.45pm - Hyde Park Picture House

We finally find a good parking spot just around the corner from the cinema. As we stroll up the crowds are starting to gather. We meet up with one of the organisers and are shown to a couple of reserved seats near the front. First there’s going to be a short film and then, after My Name Is Bruce gets it’s UK premiere, we’re up. The Guv is going to do a Q&A after the footage is screened and then I’m going to judge a “best zombie” competition apparently.

00.30am - Night of the Dead

So, the first film up was Eel Girl (a least that’s what I think it was called). An interesting tale in which a lonely lab technician becomes fascinated by a weird green lizard/fish woman who likes to splash around naked in a bath of slime. Unfortunately for him it isn’t his affections that she’s after! At about 10 minutes Eel Girl was well shot and acted with some great practical make-ups. I thought it was a good opener. The crowd agreed and it eased my nerves as I settled back to watch My Name Is Bruce.

Star of such genre defining movies as the Evil Dead trilogy, Bubba Ho-Tep and err…  Maniac Cop, long time Sam Raimi (Evil Dead trilogy, Spider-Man trilogy) cohort Bruce Campbell has entertained a generation of horror fans with his work on both the big and small screens. Directed by Campbell himself, My Name Is Bruce is at the same time a love letter to his many avid fans and a classic slice of b-movie schlock in the same vein as Bubba Ho-Tep.

The story is pretty straight forward – Bruce’s no.1 fan inadvertently re-awakens an ancient Chinese protector of Bean Curd (yes, that’s right, Bean Curd!) who then proceeds to chop the head off of everyone who crosses its path. No.1 fan feels guilty and calls in Bruce to save the day. Playing the ‘classic Campbell’ unwilling hero, Bruce does battle with both the town’s demon and a few of his own.

The best thing about this movie is the way it isn’t afraid to reference its own limitations, whilst maintaining a genuine respect for the genre. There are loads of ‘in jokes’ for the avid horror fan and Campbell pulls it all off with a style akin to Raimi’s early (better) works. Oh, and the sound design is really fantastic!

My Name is Bruce reminded me of the original Evil Dead in the way that Campbell puts himself through the ringer as both a performer and genre icon - he really gets beat up in this movie. I don’t see how they could ever top Campbell’s “Ash” in the long in production hell remake. There’s not really much here for the serious gore-hound, just a few decapitations and the like but it’s all handled well and you should definitely give it a look if you’re into low-budget comedy/ horror. Recommended.

There’s a short break next - we stretch our legs and see how many cigarettes can be smoked in 15 minutes before our bit is screened. First they show the new trailer and then straight into the Behind the Screams footage. There’s a few laughs – thankfully in all the right places - and even though both me and the Guv are not happy with the grading in a couple of the shots, the audience don’t seem to notice. Unfortunately the last couple of seconds is strangely missing and the Behind the Screams finishes abruptly leaving the audience (and us) a bit bewildered. At least it was in the correct ratio!

The Guv is called to the stage and confidently takes questions regarding budgets, distribution, release dates and how to get hold of cast and crew. If people buy two copies of the DVD then the Guv says that they can be in the next film (let’s finish this one first eh?)

Then it’s my turn. The organisers call me up to judge a “best zombie” competition. Three people volunteer and gleefully dash onto the stage. I’m asked what makes for a good zombie and mumble something about ‘maintaining an air of threat’ and ‘the ministry of funny walks’. As I’m finishing my sentence the first zombie lurches towards me and I have to admit that he’s pretty intimidating. The second guy looks like he’s had a couple too many bevvies in the break and he falls face down hard, narrowly missing the lights dotted along the front of the stage. Not a bad attempt but more drunk than dead. The last guy is quite tall and he waves his arms around like Magnus Pike whilst twisting his leg into an awkward position. Looks painful.

Personally I like the last one best but think it prudent to ask the audience which is their favourite. The audience all ‘zombie groan’ for each of the contestants and number 3 is easily the winner (damn - I wish we had taped it as background sound for the film!) All 3 receive some horror related books and leave the stage happy.

So, I leave the stage and our 15 minutes are over. We watch the next short – about some German guy who gets bored watching the same old crap on TV and decides to make his own show in which he cuts great chunks out of his own body with a Stanley knife. Good FX and pretty cringe-worthy. Can’t remember the title - hope someone can tell me?

They’re showing Tokyo Gore Police next (which I really want to see) but we’re both knackered and have a 3 hour drive home – so decide to call it a day. We shake hands with the organiser and he says to keep in touch.

Leeds is empty and we’re soon flying back down the A1. We take a turning near to the Guv’s house and are about 5 minutes from the his when we come across a police car blocking the road. Some poor bugger’s taken a dive into a really deep ditch on the side of the road. Looks messy.

I finally hit the hay at 6am satisfied that we had a positive reaction to all the footage and hopeful that everyone will agree that the film (whenever it’s finished) is worth the wait.

The Wrangler

PS. We hope to get something special for Christmas up on the web site soon…

P.P.S. (by The Mascot) Massive thanks to Scott Smith who pointed me in the direction of the video of Neils Q&A session which has been uploaded to YouTube. Scott - you rock!

P.P.P.S. (by The Mascot) Using the power of t’Internet, I have now managed to find video footage of the zombie contest with The Wrangler on YouTube. Huzzah!

Admit it.

The reason that you watch Big Brother isn’t to try and gain amazing insights into the human condition or even to simply ogle fit young things frolicking in the jacuzzi during the all too brief English summertime.

It’s all about that moment when the doors open and the latest evictee steps out onto the gantry to a chorus of disapproval from the baying crowd, watching the look on the Z-list wannabe’s face as they realise that Joe public actually hates their guts and that their fifteen minutes ended ten minutes ago.

But let’s face it. What chance have they got? If they stay quiet everyone thinks they’re boring, if they’re brash and outgoing people want to see them bashed with the humility stick.

So it was with great interest that I watched the opening episodes of Dead Set on E4 the other night.

Was this going to be the realisation of my long dreamt of version of BB – ‘Big Bastard’ where they seal the doors and slowly pump the air out of their luxury bird cage? Where dwarfs enter the house in the middle of the night and perform strange experiments on the helpless convicts? I’m thinking ‘Hostel’ meets ‘SS Experiments Camp’ - with Davina as the Wicked Warden.

Have Endemol (the shows producers) finally realised that the next logical step for their flagging annual ego mincer is to introduce some of the old ‘ultra violence’?

Well, yes actually.

From what I’ve seen so far we’re being treated to some good old fashioned gut munching, exploding heads and Lucio Fulci style throat ripping!

This is the way Big Brother was meant to be. Forget the fact that these ‘zombies’ move faster than Daphne from the new season of ‘Heroes’, they’re eating brains and ripping through flesh like a terrier on crack.

Give it a look if you get the chance. It’s something to watch while you wait for Stag Night of the Dead to loll across the finishing line…

I’d love to hear your comments.

The Wrangler.

The behind the scenes DVD extra “Behind the Screams” chronically the making of Stag Night of the Dead is finished. After six weeks of sleep deprivation and a majority shareholding in Domino’s Pizza, The Wrangler has done a great job in editing the companion to the movie. Complete with cast interviews and fly on the wall footage, this 25 minute masterpiece is set to premiered at the Leeds International Film Festival all nighter “Night of the Dead”.

I’ll keep you posted with dates etc when we have further confirmation.

In the meantime, the grade on the film is nigh on complete, we have done the first audio scrub and should have some exciting news to report next week on a new addition to the post production team.

In the words of the Romeromeister “Stay Scared”…

The Guvnor

Curse that James Bond and his Quantum of Solace. What right does he think he has to book all the friggin’ cinemas screens in Leicester Square on Halloween? I mean what’s his latest film got to do with zombies?

Ginger tosser.

Anyway, you’ll probably have guessed by the introduction that the Halloween screening of Stag Night of the Dead has been cancelled. Booking anything bigger than an iPod for a screening in Leicester Square for that week is next to impossible so we’re going to look at availability of screens for the following weeks.

Moving the screening date back presents its own problems, though. Once we get into November, we’re starting to hit Christmas party season in central London so finding a suitable screening and after party venue is proving tough so it may well be that we look at a screening in the new year.

We may still look at something later this year but we’re also considering you guys in terms of when we premiere the film. If, for example, we screen SNOTD two weeks before Christmas, how many of you would be able to make it? There’s Christmas parties…the expense of the festering festive season itself…for those travelling down from Suffolk there’s the extra expense of accommodation in London in December.

As I say, nothing is set in stone here so it would be great to have some feedback from SNOTD fans regarding the screening. Please leave comments on the blog or on the Facebook page.

I know it all sounds like bad news so if you want some good news, there’s definitely not going to be any re-shoots

In terms of the movie itself, we’re in the final stages of post production. The edit has been locked off, we’re finishing off sound design, adding the special effects, finalising the soundtrack and musical score. Everything is shaping up brilliantly and we know that you guys are going to love it.

Despite how it may seem, there’s loads going on behind the scenes that I’m dying to tell you but I can’t until contracts have been signed, etc. Basically The Guvnor has threatened to cut my balls off with a spoon if I so much as even breathe a word about any of it but, rest assured, as soon as I’m able to I will spill the beans on this here blog so to make sure you get the gossip first, subscribe to the newsfeed.

Talking of which, I believe there is some confusion as to what subscribing to the feed means. Now rather than me trying to explain it to you, why don’t I let the clever chaps at Common Craft explain it in this video?

I tell you what, whilst you’re about it, you may just love their video Zombies in Plain English

So there you have it, kiddywinks. That’s where we’re at with the funniest zombie comedy movie ever made. By us. Please feel free to leave a comment on the blog to let us know you’re still out there. It gets terribly lonely blogging here. The Guvnor doesn’t let me out very often so my only contact with the outside world is via the blog…

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Five

To make up some time we split into two units and I take David to shoot the Ronnie BZG cage scene whilst Mike looks after pick ups with Richard. We make good headway but are constantly against the clock. Mike keeps pressing for urgency and, although he’s right, we are rushing and still dropping scenes.

Mike and I have a team talk by the gates to New Town at lunch and we are both stressed to breaking point. Ali arrives and reports that it’s kicked off with the stunt team back at the barracks. We call a meeting with the stunt team and the atmosphere is not good. There’s no point trying to contain the situation and they pack their bags.

We’re miles behind schedule, we’ve dropped too many scenes along the way, some of the set piece battle scenes are now impossible to shoot without a stunt team and I’m already considerably over budget. Everyone is stressed beyond belief through lack of sleep and food. This is a tipping point and I consider aborting the shoot.

I make an executive decision and assemble the remaining cast and crew.

Everyone has given too much to the project to give up now so it’s time for Plan B. No more stunts, more comedy and the show goes on. Richard and Lee don’t look convinced but hang in there. Mike does another epic revision on the shooting schedule and between us we are convinced that it is still doable.

We start shooting again at 3pm and finish at sunset. It’s the final scene of the movie where the good guys take on the forces of evil. The army of the undead. The zombie horde.

The only problem is that our zombie horde is now down to ten. All the rest of our zombies have gone home, tired of sitting round doing nothing and not getting fed properly. I don’t blame them. I’d have done the same.

We shoot it anyway but I know in my heart it isn’t a good enough ending. Physically and emotionally drained I fall into a deep sleep as soon as my head hits the pillows. Surely it can’t get any worse.

9th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Six

I’m woken up by Mikes flatulent version of Reveille. I sit in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee and watch the rest of the crew emerge from their rooms. There is noticeably a different mood in the camp. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep and I’m hallucinating but I could have sworn that people are smiling and laughing.

Over breakfast we work through the day ahead. Between Richards razor like mind for stuff we haven’t covered and Mikes engineering of the script we’ve got a plan. We shoot on two locations - the hut and New Town.

To my astonishment we finish early and better still wrap with the zombie choir which has every one creased up laughing – a rare commodity on the shoot to date.

The evening is more relaxed and chilled than at any point. Andy is supplying me with an endless stream of fags and we eat properly in the evening.

The showers have been sorted and even Mikes arse seems to have stopped expelling noxious fumes. Everything is good in the world and I get my first decent nights sleep in a week.

10th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Seven

Another good day. We split into two groups again. One unit covers the scenes shot at the hut and the other picks up shots in the limo. Both units do a great job, the footage is good and we seem to be functioning better as a team. Richard and David work well together to combine two separate scenes into one set up and we’re starting to claw back some time.

The original Number 48 sword wielding scene is binned. There are no Samurai swords on set even though we had two in the props room. Instead I not only despatch the Figure In Black character but invent the best weapon against zombies. A mattress. I like it a lot. It’s quick, it works and there’s no need to fill in endless health and safety forms relating to a flatulent sleep deprived actor brandishing a razor sharp katana. Job done.

We head off to K9, the holding pen for our captive zombies, to grab some pick ups before finishing off on the runway to shoot the limo heading off into the sunset. Richard is struggling without the proper equipment to keep the camera steady and I make a mental note that this may be a re shoot.

11th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Eight

Our saviour at A14 Limousines lets us keep the limo overnight and we do pick ups first thing in the morning before shooting the big scene with BZG and Ronny. Lily has been on set for most of the week dreading this scene so we make it a closed set, much to the annoyance of Mike who was spotted dry humping a fir tree the night before.

The weather is still scorching hot. So much for the torrential rain and snow, Mr Bastardi! Ray is suffering from a mild case of sunstroke and is having to wear a rather fetching sun hat to prevent his brain from frying.

In the afternoon we head back to the hut for the Ronny and Dean meet and then back to the Hush House for some more pick ups. The pizzas go to the wrong air force base and we end up eating at 10.30pm. We push too far and tempers are frayed but we get the footage. Mike spends an hour and a half having prosthetics which won’t make the final cut…

Bruce wraps and goes. It seems strange without him..

12th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Nine

We’re going to pull it off after all…

Mike’s schedule has taken a hell of a pounding but he’s worked out the order of the day and principle cast start to wrap one by one. Rez, Doug and Joe are all hugged profusely and then like Keyser Soze, they are gone…

Seb and Sophie are left and we head into the woods for their fight scene. I simplify the shoot by combining two scenes. The zombies hit their marks, drop their bollocks and we’re done. My emotions are as fucked as the budget but thanks to the enormous goodwill, belief and doggedness of everyone involved the shoot was over. Just another couple of days shooting the pub scene and that will be it.

I eventually arrive home around midnight and just about persuade my girlfriend fiancee not to leave me. I promise to never make another film again. ‘Just two more days left, darling, and it will all be over’ I tell her.

How wrong can a guy be?

The main shoot is two days away and I’m struggling. Struggling badly. I’ve concentrated so much on the producing that I haven’t got round to the basics of making the film. I haven’t finished the storyboards and I don’t even know where my script is…

Mike has been brilliant producing the call sheets but the more I look at the schedule, the more intimidating it looks. I must have been off my chump to ditch my original idea for a film. It had one main character, a handful of supporting cast and a local shoot. This is a fucking epic!

We’ll be making a short film every day and need just one day of bad weather and we’re fucked. The forecast says we’ll get at least four days of rain with the possibility of snow later in the week.

Ray rings me and suggests we leave with the van at 4am. We have to pick the stunt equipment up, get to Hanwell for the props, pick up our sound recordist Curzio in West London then pick Lee up from Croydon before heading off to Bentwaters.

The last time the van did over 50 miles was three years ago when it was being towed by Green Flag.

5th April 2007

4am at Rays and we head towards London. Everything goes OK until we get to Men at Work Props in Hanwell. The telephone box is massive and the guys there just laugh as we open the back of the van which is already packed with lighting gear, props, costumes, camera equipment and bedding for the barracks. Thankfully they take pity on us and somehow we fit it on board.

On the long drive up to Suffolk I start to realise I need more of everything - food, bedding, etc - and I can see the money pissing out of the budget. When we arrive on location at Bentwaters and I hand over the cheque, I feel like I’ve been physically winded. Not only that but I question whether anybody else’s missus would let their partner spend money like this.

The afternoon is serene and very peaceful. The weather’s warm as Lee, Ray and I sit out back of the barracks and relax. Up yours, Bastardi! My worries seem to vanish and I know I can do this…

Over the course of the next few hours we unpack the kit and everybody starts to turn up. David Beaumont appears like Dracula at midnight, the stunt team arrive and bed down. We’re all here and amazingly we have enough beds.

I share a 6ft by 6ft room with Mike and begin a week long flatulence competition. He wins.

6th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Three (aka The Long Good Friday)

Probably the worse day of my life.

Good news is that everyone turns up, we have plenty of extras who have given up their Easter weekend to appear in the film and our make up team do a grand job in quick time and we have an army of zombies.

The bad news is that everything mechanical we touch turns to rat shit. The mechanical cherry picker we’ll be using for some of our crucial shots doesn’t work and the roller doors in the Hush House pack up half way through a take. This is a show stopper - it’s Mr Ree’s big entrance and we’re completely screwed.

Luckily Ray manages to find a way to open them manually but there’s already some tension in the air. I’ve assembled a completely new crew and none of us have worked together before so everyone is a bit unsure of how things will pan out. Despite Ali and Mikes warnings, I haven’t sorted the catering properly and there is discontent in the camp. I’m worrying too much about peripheral items instead of taking control and directing the film.

I get a call from the people renting the cottage to Seb, Sophie and Doug. They won’t let them stay because they thought I was staying there. Drive to the pub to meet the owners and placate them. We get the keys but this detour has cost us time.

We crack on with filming, desperately behind schedule, and I face another problem. The Figure In Black character isn’t working and Mike looks more like the Gay Caballero than Yul Brynner’s gunslinger from Westworld.

We finish at midnight. An unhappy camp. This was supposed to be the simplest day of the shoot to help ease us in.

7th April 2007

Bentwaters - Shoot Day Four

The second worst day of my life.

Slept for three hours. Got up at six brought Mike a cup of coffee. He worked through revising the call sheets and didn’t even grace the room with his flatulence. Shit. This must be serious.

The weather is glorious but will the extras be back? We treated them pretty badly yesterday but Ray has done an inspired job of wrangling and they start arriving at 7am. Once again, I am humbled by their dedication to the film. It takes a special kind of person to give up their holiday weekend to spend it running round a disused military base in Suffolk covered in latex and fake blood with nothing more than a curled up cheese sandwich as payment.

Today is the day of the big action scenes in New Town. We split into two units with the main camera crew working in New Town and the secondary team working with the stunt team. It’s early morning but there is already some friction regarding the time spent on the main shoot and the time allowed for stunts and prep.

We drop a shit load of scenes planned for the afternoon but get some great footage.

Food continues to be an issue despite the magnificent efforts of Ali and Lianne. I realise that I haven’t eaten anything for 24 hours.

Mike and I wrestle with the schedule. He has a plan and works on my laptop till the wee small hours. We can’t keep dropping scenes- the schedule is due to get busier.

The showers flood and the kitchen floor is under water.

Read Through - West London

Another one of those days that makes the trauma of independent filmmaking worthwhile.

The principle cast meet for the first time. Bruce, who we’ve now cast as Marky, can’t make the read through but the rest of the guys gel and the group dynamic shines through immediately. It never ceases to amaze me how a script suddenly comes alive at read throughs and how actors breathe life into their characters.

I show the footage of the Bentwaters locations to the cast and they’re all blown away and excited about the project so I figure it’s a good time to break the news that our potential backers weren’t going to take any part in the project as SNOTD was too “commercial”. When asked how the film was going to be funded I tell them that Ray is going to sell his body on the streets of Letchworth. This seems to pacify them and they all trot off home with happy smiles and a bag of doughnuts from Sainsburys.

17th February 2007

Mother In Law’s House Meppershall - Shoot Day Two

Technically not a son-in-law at this point and yet again Kevin and Marie come through and lend us their house to trash. We nearly totalled their garage and Kevins prize collection of classic cars when shooting Reco Men there last year so I’m on my best behaviour.

The Elaine (Jemma Lewis) and Mum (Eva Gray) scene goes well but kicks off three hours late due to the make up team getting lost. Richard Wood looks like he’s actually got avian flu and isn’t in the best shape. I work him to death anyway..

Zombie make up tests look good and Ray stamps his feet until we let him be made up first.

26 February 2007

My best chance of a substitute Mr Big bailed out because his wife said he couldn’t go (only she has rights to humiliate him). Put some feelers out and begging letters/emails and hope someone puts their hand up. While stood on a chair.

Send out the final lock down of the script to the production team. I call the file SNOTD ABSOLUTE LOCK DOWN using capital letters and everything so everyone knows there will be no changes to this version. None. This is it. The shooting script. Set in stone.

Mike writes back within half an hour with suggestions for a new draft including some gratuitous sex scenes and more lines for Number 48.

17th March 2007

Production meeting with Mike, Ray and Ali. I’ve printed out the provisional shot list as well as call sheets, prop lists, costume and make up breakdowns, accommodation details, lines of responsibility, stunt sequences, copies of insurance documentation, vehicle hire contracts, logistics and catering requirements for the shoot.

We’re going to need a bigger boat.

28th March 2007

Mike rings me up to tell me that according to Joe Bastardi we’re going to have torrential rains, possible snow and gale force winds for the shoot. He’s been checking the long range weather forecast for the last two weeks and it’s 99% certain that the shoot is going to be a disaster.

I tell him to stop being so negative, that God smiles on independent filmmakers and that we’ll find a way around it. We always do.

I put the phone down and start to cry.

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ZombieHarmony.com - because the apocalypse doesn’t have to be lonely.

I don’t know about you but the idea of dating a vampire is…well…just a little bit creepy. Now I’ve got nothing against a little bit of slap and tickle and maybe a spot of earlobe nibbling and what have you but I draw the line at having my body drained of blood just for a shag.

To quote Marky from the film :

Oh, so what? You think we should’ve let her chew through our major arteries just cuz she had nice tits, do you?

Rumours, eh? Funny how they start. One minute there’s no mention of a London premiere for the new comedy zombie movie Stag Night of the Dead and then next - blam - all over t’Internet like a rash. How do these rumours start, eh?

I mean it’s not as if the film is finished yet so why people would mention a Halloween screening in a London cinema is beyond me.

Halloween. October 31st. The night ghosts and ghouls walk the Earth. I mean, what possible connection could there be with a zombie film?

Anyway I don’t want to add fuel to the fire about this worldwide premiere taking place in London October 31st 2008. No. That’s the last thing I’d like to do. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to make it anyway as I already have something marked in my diary for that day. In big red letters.