Directors Diaries - Part 3

3rd February 2007

Read Through - West London

Another one of those days that makes the trauma of independent filmmaking worthwhile.

The principle cast meet for the first time. Bruce, who we’ve now cast as Marky, can’t make the read through but the rest of the guys gel and the group dynamic shines through immediately. It never ceases to amaze me how a script suddenly comes alive at read throughs and how actors breathe life into their characters.

I show the footage of the Bentwaters locations to the cast and they’re all blown away and excited about the project so I figure it’s a good time to break the news that our potential backers weren’t going to take any part in the project as SNOTD was too “commercial”. When asked how the film was going to be funded I tell them that Ray is going to sell his body on the streets of Letchworth. This seems to pacify them and they all trot off home with happy smiles and a bag of doughnuts from Sainsburys.

17th February 2007

Mother In Law’s House Meppershall - Shoot Day Two

Technically not a son-in-law at this point and yet again Kevin and Marie come through and lend us their house to trash. We nearly totalled their garage and Kevins prize collection of classic cars when shooting Reco Men there last year so I’m on my best behaviour.

The Elaine (Jemma Lewis) and Mum (Eva Gray) scene goes well but kicks off three hours late due to the make up team getting lost. Richard Wood looks like he’s actually got avian flu and isn’t in the best shape. I work him to death anyway..

Zombie make up tests look good and Ray stamps his feet until we let him be made up first.

26 February 2007

My best chance of a substitute Mr Big bailed out because his wife said he couldn’t go (only she has rights to humiliate him). Put some feelers out and begging letters/emails and hope someone puts their hand up. While stood on a chair.

Send out the final lock down of the script to the production team. I call the file SNOTD ABSOLUTE LOCK DOWN using capital letters and everything so everyone knows there will be no changes to this version. None. This is it. The shooting script. Set in stone.

Mike writes back within half an hour with suggestions for a new draft including some gratuitous sex scenes and more lines for Number 48.

17th March 2007

Production meeting with Mike, Ray and Ali. I’ve printed out the provisional shot list as well as call sheets, prop lists, costume and make up breakdowns, accommodation details, lines of responsibility, stunt sequences, copies of insurance documentation, vehicle hire contracts, logistics and catering requirements for the shoot.

We’re going to need a bigger boat.

28th March 2007

Mike rings me up to tell me that according to Joe Bastardi we’re going to have torrential rains, possible snow and gale force winds for the shoot. He’s been checking the long range weather forecast for the last two weeks and it’s 99% certain that the shoot is going to be a disaster.

I tell him to stop being so negative, that God smiles on independent filmmakers and that we’ll find a way around it. We always do.

I put the phone down and start to cry.