In sensational breaking news, London mayor Boris Johnson has been revealed as a zombie!
Rumours about Mr Johnson began to circulate on Wednesday when he was photographed looking pale and drawn with large bags under his eyes on the eve of the mayoral elections. Initially it was thought that Boris was simply tired after his non-stop campaigning in the London elections but things took a sinister turn later that day when he was overheard saying that he would “eat Ken Livingstone alive“.
Speculation continued when a leaked document from Johnsons campaign offices contained this chilling line:
Once in power, Boris will ensure that he has access to the best political brains in the country.
A spokesperson for the new London mayor refused to confirm or deny the allegations but the publication of this photo would appear to prove without any doubt that Boris Johnson is one of the great undead.
There has been no word from Downing Street but this is no surprise since Gordon Brown has been a dead man walking for some months now.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Rob Zombie // May 4, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Very good. Would have been funnier if you’d used a Photoshopped picture, though….
2 The Mascot // May 4, 2008 at 10:49 pm
You’re not THE Rob Zombie are you?
3 The Mascot // May 5, 2008 at 8:25 pm
In our rush to get the article out, we completely forgot to mention the Boris Johnson video diaries where he refers to New Labour as “this zombie government.
More information can be found on the BBC website.
The evidence is stacking up. How long before the establishment admit that the new London mayor is undead?
4 The Mascot // Aug 25, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Having seen Boris Johnsons performance at the closing ceremony for the Beijing Olympics, I’m still convinced the guy is a zombie…
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